Thursday, May 8, 2008
Snotty Kids
My daughter has poor self esteem. How do I fix it? She thinks her friend is better than her and that the other kids at school don't like her. I tell her that she is a great person. She is funny, loving, smart, fashionable, caring, basically she is a wonderful little girl. I don't want her to think she is not as good at school or sports because some kid tells her that. I want her to be strong and stand up for herself. How do I help her become more assertive? I don't want her to be sad when some snotty kid tells her she can't play with them today because she is not in their club. I know kids are mean and I know it's part of growing up. I experienced it myself but not until the 5th grade. She is only in 1st grade and already dealing with clicks and bratty girls. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.
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3 comments:
I wish I knew. My first memory of that sort of thing was 4th grade, and I was miserable almost until the start of high school. I sucks that kids act like that. Where do they learn it? ((hugs)) to L .. and you.
Unfortunately, kids are brats! I remember those clicks, but NOT in the 1st grade!! I would suggest, if that group won't allow her in, then tell her to go to another group and make her own with them. You'll see, as soon as they're doing something fun that the "mean" click likes, they'll be over in no time. Proper way would be to allow them in, and turn the other cheek if she wants to teach them a lesson, but emotionally, I'm certain she would love to say, "NOPE, YOU'RE NOT PART OF THIS GROUP"! That's a tough one :) However, keep giving positive reassurance. She is a bright and wonderful little girl! Tell her she doesn't need kids like that in her life! That can be so damaging, especially at such a young age. Love ya L!
My daughter had a similar situation. She's now 5 and in her school the kids read adjectives (like smart, pretty, tall, etc.) and give it to other kids who they think it applies to. She came to me and said "Anthony never gives me the pretty card." I really had to think about this but I told her the following. "No one can tell you what you are, not even mama or papa. A card doesn't tell YOU what you are. YOU tell yourself what YOU are. If you're smart, you tell yourself that. If you're pretty, you tell yourself that. If you're tall, you tell yourself that." She really got it.
The odd thing is that we (adults) still struggle with our identity and how others perceive us. I still think it has to do with our upbringing as kids.
At least with Ria, I know I've done my part and now she her self-esteem has skyrocketed. It's really cool to a child not hold back because most of us were trained to "be realistic" and not to "be whatever you want to be."
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